"One secret of success in life is for a man to be ready for his opportunity when it comes"
Opportunity sometimes stares us down begging to be taken advantage of and other times it simply passes us by in the blink of an eye. The hardest part about seizing opportunities is recognizing when the right time to step out of our comfort zone is, and then embracing it 100%. Recently I asked myself how am I supposed to know if this is what I am meant to go after? Is this the right time? Can someone give me a sign?! The truth is we don't really know.
The word opportunity inherently implies an advantage of some sort and it can happen on a first date (is this my chance to kiss her?), on the road while we drive (I better speed up now to get past this old lady) at the supermarket (well if it is cheaper to buy five I might as well grab it now while it is on sale) and the most important place: (at least to me) at work. Unlike the former examples where you can eventually kiss the girl (and liked it), pass miss daisy a couple of miles later, and go back to the super market for more tooth brushes if you run out, opportunity at the workplace may seem hard to come by and with finality in our mind we act cray. What if I don't get an opportunity like this again? What if this is it?!
Let's go back about two months ago. There I was...going about my life (shots shots shots shots....e'rday I am shuffling... Oh sorry I enjoyed the summer wayyy too much) when a work opportunity seemed to materialize out of nothing right before my eyes. My first reaction, as I believe it is for most people, was fear. I worry, I weigh three times my body I worry, I throw my fear around....I don't know....if I am ready to go down that road, do I really want to rock the boat right now? The first thing I did was make a list of why I shouldn't go after this opportunity. Assessing all of the things I would lose. Do I sail through? Or drop my anchor down? Then I went thru what I call the counseling period. I went to those I trust and asked for advice and opinions. Of course I had no intention of listening to any of it, because deep in my gut I already knew what to do...it just hadn't made its way up to my brain yet. I wrestled with my thoughts for about 3 days and in a split second a moment of clarity came to me. There's a calm I can't explain...by the time I recognize this moment...this moment will be gone...Why NOT do it?
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| Phew! At least I don't sweat as much as that grease monkey Maria |
Before I knew it that moment of clarity set a whole chain of events in motion. Difficult and awkward conversations had to be had "it's not you it is me"...I know I have what it takes to do this....and within a week, I was sitting in front of opportunity in the form of a beautiful, powerful and fashionable female. This is it I thought. Again always with that feeling of finality that plagues me constantly. It's always 'enjoy today because you don't know what tomorrow will bring'. Well how can I do that if we are constantly told there might not be a tomorrow. I felt like a whore in church, sweating uncontrollably...down my spine under my spanx one drop at a time. Awesomeness. I was praying to the sweet baby Jesus for my t-zone to stay oil free. Remember don't use your hands too much. Is that her real hair color or are those artfully deceiving well placed highlights? FOCUS. And so it began...my chance to square off with opportunity. Turns out in that hour I learned one of the biggest lessons of my entire life and I want to share it with you.
In school we got progress reports sent to our parents. I don't know about you but mine always went a little something like this: Talks to much in class. My stupid mouth has gotten me in trouble Yup, that about sums it up. At work we have reviews. For some of us, those reviews impact our bonus which we tend to virtually spend before we EVEN know how much we are getting. My favorite time of the year only slightly behind black friday. Momma needs a new pair of TB flats! In life we just get thrown in without any periodic guidance. Cause I wonder sometimes about the outcome of a still verdict less life....Am I living it right?! Should I marry this person?! Give it a try see how it goes! Should I do drugs? Eh why not! Should I join the military? Sure what's the worst that can happen? How come we don't get life touch bases? Life reviews? Progress Reports? How are we supposed to know if we are on right track or the wrong one? How can we be absolutely sure that the decisions we make are the right ones?! After all living the most fruitful life with the least strife is our bonus in life right? The answer may surprise you:
Yes peeps, opportunity is our compass when navigating through the yes, hell no's and maybe's of life. Unfortunately we are conditioned to think that an opportunity always leads to a positive (mostly tangible) outcome. Case in point I thought this was a good opportunity because it would lead to a new and better job. Reality check: 5 minutes into hearing about the position I knew with definitive certainty that while I was a perfect fit for the job, it wasn't a perfect fit for me. This opportunity showed me and reinforced that I am on the right yellow brick road. EUREKA! Opportunities come along not only to help us transition into new chapters but also to help us steer through the ones we are on, giving us a green light when it is time for the next one, or a red light when our work is not quite complete. Losing a job is an opportunity. Getting a divorce is an opportunity. Ending friendships with people who aren't who we thought they were; and mid-life crisis are all markers that we weren't with the people we should be with or doing what we are meant to be doing. Opportunity gets so frustrated with our relentless fear of change, eventually takes matters into its own hands and literally throws us off the path. We have a tough time seeing those events as opportunities because our connotation has always been positive.
It is a skill to see the potential learning experience when things don't go our way. We get so hung up on the outcome that we don't realize the actual process is what keeps us moving forward. How are you supposed to know where you belong? My answer: When you have been to places, as I have, where you clearly do NOT belong. This technique may not be the fastest, or most efficient but it is opportunity that makes it easier to identify when you have arrived to your true destination.
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