Hola Amigos!!! So it is Hispanic Heritage Month. Oh you didn't know?! I guess I am not THAT surprised...Black History Month always overshadows us. Whatevs MLK we had a dream too! (Oh no she didn't!) Perhaps you didn't know it because unlike other heritage months it starts September 15 and ends October 15. Now I know what you gonna say...why do the Latinos always gots to stand out? They are so loud and passionate about even the tiniest things...to you I say...we are beautiful no matter what they say. Words won't bring us down. Preach x-tina my half Ecuadorian sister. Well for once, it wasn't the Lats. In fact it was two gringos by the name of Lyndon Johnson and Ronald Reagan. Oh yes I know this dude!! He invented some kind of economics or something right?! CRINGE! That is an actual excerpt from one of my classes, welcome to CUNY! They chose September 15th because it was the ID4 of 5 Latin American countries. Guanacos HOLLAAAA!!! (thank you Ingrid I took that right from your fb page!!) A couple other countries follow celebrating their independence in the subsequent days. I heard about this on the radio and thought we could talk about some Hispanic music that doesn't involve J.Lo or Pitbull! Say what?! Oye now we really going rogue. DALE!!!
There have been many contributions to music by Hispanics, whether in the domestic or international markets. Some undoubtedly have made more of a dent than others who simply happened to be at the right place and in the wrong sexuality. Yea Ricky Martin I am talking to you!! I debated with myself for about 5 minutes on whether to include Ricky or not. I harbor deep deep dislike for his music and the debacle that was (upside inside out living) the vida loca which we came to find out it was a big ball of shitters. I was too young for Menudo and never found him to be attractive. To add insult to injury to the second worst song (we will talk about #1) ever recorded by a Hispanic, Ricky came out with the gem Maria Maria. Ah but of course he did... It gave the blanquitos a chance to freshen up on their Spanish counting... un... dos... tres... and falsely gave Maria's everywhere hope of one day bagging the biggest Latin pop star at the time. Rickylicious would plead: Maria I want to make you mine. Sorry boo ain't gonna happen...I am onto your game! (And I was 9 years old - creeeepy) In 1995 this song helped him move away from the stuffy ballads that had become his trademark and he instead transitioned into over gyrating of his hips and god knows how many shoulder shimmies. Maria Maria went to #1 in most of Europe and even made a very brief appearance on the billboard top 100. It was so brief you probably missed it. Sweet Enrique was responsible for radio stations playing la vida loca every 5 minutes and for the most embarrassing Asian expat America has ever seen: William Hung SHE BANGS SHE BANGS... Augh I can't do it!! Can't talk about it, I might just hurl. As we look back on Ricky's career after it is all said and done he managed to salsa and UEPA his way into the hearts of fans who would end up buying 60 million of his records. Don't get me wrong he seems like a nice guy, and if I was recruiting for a cool gay friend and NPH wasn't available I'd go with RM. But music wise, I am not deleting any songs on my ipod to make room for his. We all know he opened the doors for J.Lo, Enrique Iglesias and Shakira. I guess what I am really trying to say is that he essentially owes his fame to Maria. Asi es Maria, tan caliente y fria. Que si te la bebes de seguro te va a matar. True story peeps.
I never forgot what I heard a fellow paisan say when I was younger...the rhythym is gonna get you. Ahhh yes Gloria. It sure will. Unlike Ricky, Gloria wanted to help the Hispanics with their counting... one two three four common baby say you love me...five six seven times, eight nine ten eleven...I am just gonna keep on counting
There is a throwback joint from a one hit wonder that I absolutely love. The singer is kind of cute (in a non-threatening MS-13 kind of way), and when his song makes it into my hodgepodge of a shuffle I perk up. I sometimes randomly think about it when I am walking and hum it to myself. I don't know what to do...I think I am in love...baby...Amor no es amor... that's right I am talking about Frankie J. Wait WHO?!?! Every true Spanish music lover's worst night mare. Ha, I remember one of my babe's friends saying "that crap isn't real Spanish music!" You are right friend it is not. I can't say that I really like listening to full blown Spanish music. Sorry Vicki, but the mega is not in my omega, and I don't know who India is. It is difficult for me to enjoy salsa, bachata and merengue because they seem too refined for my jersey turnpike. I like songs that are closer to dance pop because my ass is at its happiest when it is shaking uncontrollably. Intricate feet movements aren't as alluring to me as a grind or a booty pop and lock. Keeping it 100. Enter C&C music factory. Churning out hit after hit in dance, hip hop and latin music, they became the soundtrack to my sick running man moves in middle school and high school. Their masterfully mixed dance tunes could hardly be classified as a single genre. The song Latino Remix is the best representation of this concept. It starts more as a dance tune with a salsa vibe then transitions with the classic percussion instrument sounds. You can do a fancy salsa step or an insane booty pop. I enjoy a little creative freedom in my dance allowances within a song. Fuego fuego llame a los bomberos.
We can't talk about Spanish music without talking about Bidi Bidi Bom Bom Selena. We've all seen J.Lo bring to life one of the most charismatic and lovable women in music. I actually did not know who Selena was when she died (or her music for that matter), but I remember what a big deal it was. The video footage of the tejano singer around her family that the news kept on a constant repeat cycle, made me love her. The actual music made me love her more. The fact that she died so young and tragically was sad. Even sadder what a great success her cross album would have been...would Ricky and J.Lo still exist? Brace yourself we are about to get deep up in this piece...Dreaming of you, was a beautiful song that I loved to listen to before I fell asleep when I was younger. But of course I could only enjoy it up until 2 minutes and 45 seconds, because after that her love tells her he loves her too. I had no such love to speak of unless you count Mr. Lecci my INSANELY hot social studies teacher in 8th grade. (Ryan knows the deelio) Wait did he teach social studies? Who can actually remember?! When I met my better half I instantly understood the song. And I still can't believe that you came up to me and said... I love you. I realized what a masterful story teller Selena was with her voice and her lyrics. Okay if you haven't killed yourself we will move onto the disastrous hispanic contributions. Sorry but...you knew they were coming.
Where there is black there is white. Where there is oil there is vinegar and where there is arroz there is pollo...?!? oh wait...what's that?!.. they don't say that?! Unfortunately not all music is good music. They can't all be like Santana!!! Sometimes the bad and ugly seep in and as gluttons for punishment, we make those songs into dance crazes!! The lambada had nothing to do with spanish peeps. Next time someone asks you about the lambada (and you know it could be any day now!) you can drop some knowledge on 'em and point out that in fact that is a Brazilian song. We can't blame Giselle for the macarena. At this point in the post I would normally define the word macarena for you but since nobody REALLY seems to know its meaning (in the context of this song) we will skip that part. Then I would break down the song and tell you the interesting and meaningful parts, but since there are none we will skip that too. For the love of Daisy Fuentes what else is there?!? Oh yea, the video starring the RuPaul/Dennis Rodman look alike and the two old pervs. I vaguely remembered this video, but for you my reader I revisited it. The stench of utter disturbia still lingers in my nostrils. I am above all confused that such an offensively simple video has had a bajillion hits. First of all, what are those two dinosaurs doing in it other than waiting to die?!? Second, why is their dancing so atrocious? I understand you are from Spain but Dios mio what are those epileptic moves you are trying to pass off as dancing? Third, you aren't fooling anyone with your "look at us we love all ethnicities, there is an asian chick, a black chick, a white chick and an indian chick." Bitch please I saw the same hoes in the R. Kelly video. Why don't you settle down on ethnic diversity and maybe hmmm... I don't know add some diversity to the 16 bars you keep singing over and over. It was an embarrassing moment not just for Hispanics but for all global citizens who actually took part in this clusterfuck of ridicness. Phew! I've been waiting so long to get that off my chest! Let's hope history never repeats itself!
There have been, are and will be many Hispanics who create amazeballs music that will always be near and dear to our hearts. I have barely scratched the surface with the examples above, but these are the most memorable as they pertain to my life. Some play the race card forcefully, while others don't even mention it AHEM! Sammy Davis Jr. (Yup look it up!) Of course they should all be proud of their heritage, but I wish that we would let the music speak for itself and enjoy it for what it is instead of incessantly categorizing artists. Christina Aguilera is an incredible vocalist. Sure she's a little skanky poo but I don't let that OR the fact that she is half Ecuadorian influence my opinion of her music. Us Ecuadorians have to stick together right Brianna?! Well maybe be so in real life, but in the world of notes, bars, keys, and stories the only thing that matters is how I feel after I listen and absorb it all. That's what a girl wants....right x-tina? So in celebration of Hispanic Heritage month, I encourage all of you to visit your neighborhood bodega, eat some paella, hug a latino, listen to Gloria or make an outrageous comment about someone's heritage (WAIT YOU ARE DOMINICAN?!? HOW CAN THAT BE WHEN YOU ARE SOOOOO WHITE!??! Some where Caroline just chuckled!) trust me: they are used to it and secretly enjoy it. Excuse me while I go UEPA for no reason!!! Good to be back PEEPSSSSSSSSSS!
