Watch the Throne

The Hermes of verses and Mr. I invented Swag released their much anticipated collabo Watch the Throne a couple of weeks ago and it has a lot of peeps talking. If you are reading this post and are confused by those nicknames, of course I am referring to two of Hip Hop's biggest monsters today: Kanye West & Jay-Z. In this week's post we talk about my thoughts on the legendary rappers; how I think their new joint measured up, and what's up with all this criticism?! Are haters always gonna hate?

If you know me, then you already know I am a ginormous Jay-Z fan. The idea for this little blog that could began with him. I am very inspired by his story, his resilience and his cockiness...that we are not worthy of his presence. Truth. His success in business, music, fame, notoriety and respect among the hood and the country club types is unparalleled. Proof. Kanye West is a total deuchington but his brilliance as a rapper goes beyond a sharp tongue, and perfectly engineered songs with catchy (and sometimes) controversial hooks. Chuck D of N.W.A. once said that "hip hop music is the black CNN"  I appreciate the raw honesty about our culture, specifically the African American sector of it that rap & hip hop bring to the forefront. While I may have my reservations to truly say I like KW as a person, he has delivered music that has not only perfectly captured the social commentary of the black community but also challenged the limits of music and how it can be made.

"Otis" one of the best songs on the album, was leaked about a month and a half ago and it was well received by this MC. The song is classic Kanye style: let's take an old song by another legend, sample it, make a sick beat, and rap about how much better than everyone else we are. Result = insane levels of epic balls! Another notch on the belt and the fans eat it up! Or do they? Regardless of how high haterade consumption is, I say if Funkmaster Flex is playing it on HOT 97 & DJ Clue is playing it on 105.1 every half hour, that shiz is going platinum. Believe dat. Similar to Gold Digger which samples a Ray Charles song, Otis Redding's soft vocals introduce the song slowly, at which point Jay comes on asking It sounds so soulful don't you agree? Sure do Jigga Man, at least it is the real thing not Jamie Foxx. <<Okay let's have some real talk for a hot minute: that Mr. Jamie Foxx always surprises me!! He is like the male JLo: movies, music, dancing, instruments...wait a minute do I HEART JF?? I am drinking some wine as I write this so blame it on the a-a-a-alcohol...feeling on your butt what...ahh love that song, but I've digressed.>> And then the song dives into slick rhymes by the ambigous duo taking turns claiming they looking so fresh gotta call the paparazzi on they self, and don't get confused 'Ye was seen in his other OTHER Benz. Get it right. Maybe I am slightly biased toward this song because this was the first track off the album I heard, maybe it's because Try a little tenderness has always had a special place in my heart, or maybe it's because the song is just fuckin good. This is what Kanye does best, he takes what society deems as the has-beens of music and finds a way to make it relevant and fresh in a way nobody saw coming. He has a good ear and the vision to perfectly merge black and white, oil and vinegar, old and new and anything else you thought couldn't be mixed. I made Jesus Walks so I am never going to hell Who in this day and age makes an amazeballs rap song about Jesus that also plays in da club, on radios, at house parties and the ipods of millions who are not even religious? Why Kanye does boo. Recognize fool.

Niggas in Paris (actual title - don't get offended) is the second best song on the album. The immediate connection to a song's beat is what sells me on it. The deciding factor between an average song and a great one is the lyrics. There is a lot going on in this song underneath the bounce-friendly beat and offensive title. Wait...? Why is it offensive? Niggas can go to Paris can't they? (Calm down it's just a blog) Actually the pimp team of the cent recorded some of the album in Paris while holed up in hotel rooms. Sounds like it was super rough. What do you mean you don't have escargot? This album, but specifically this song explores the idea that these two prominent black men with extreme talent, money and fame are still not accepted as such by our society. This is their music testimony that they indeed deserve their status and more. Ball so hard I'm shocked too, I'm supposed to be locked up too. If you escape what I've escaped, you'd be in Paris getting fucked up too. I dare you my dear reader to listen to this song and not want to do some outrageous dance to it. Outrageous is left up to you to interpret. 'Ye-Z take turns telling us about la vie en rose in Paris, and then halfway thru the song the music ends and we hear dialogue from Blades of Glory (never seen it) I recognized Will Ferrell's voice but not the lines. The snippet truly made me chuckle it is both unexpected and completely appropriate. Then we go back to team swagaroo and the song concludes with a reminder that you are now watching the throne and don't let Kanye get into his zone. Song of the year.

No church in the wild is the third standout song where Kanye compares himself to Jesus. If you're a 'Ye fan this comes as no surprise, standard Kanyeness here. We formed a new religion, no sins as long as there is permission, and deception is the only felony. So never fuck nobody without telling me. Hov also reinforces this notion by reminding us Jesus was a carpenter, Yeezy, laid beats Hova flow the Holy Ghost, get the hell up out your seats. Preach. Clearly that's exactly the same. Thanks for clarifying Hov. Frank Ocean is featured in this song as well as in the melancholy Made in America. Here we thank the sweet baby Jesus and rejoice that we made it in America. While it is not a dancing joint, it is another lyrical testament of how far these two have come before they ruled the world, while shouting out Brother Martin & Malcom and don't forget the sweet baby Jesus is mentioned 20 times. I like the tenderness behind this song, Frank Ocean brings that, but in the song a New Day we get that from the illest motherfucker alive himself. The song is a foreshadowing of their surprising advice to their future sons, produced by the Rza from Wu-Tang.  Kanye starts with and I'll never let my son have an ego, I mean I might make him be republican so everyone know he love white people. I just want him to have an easy life...not the Yeezy life. Love, love LOVE the GWB/Katrina incident thrown in there in reverse. Jay summarizes the entire song with Sorry Junior I already ruined you. Sins of a father makes your life 10 times harder. Touching...to think they don't want their unborn sons to take after them. Do any of us? Really good stuff folks.  Me and the Rza connect.

So what are all these panties in a bunch for? Critics are coming down hard on Hip Hop's Bad Boys for their lack of tact during tough financial times. Watch the Throne was released on the day the Dow saw its worse drop in 2 years (over 600 points). Lyrics like what's 50 grand to a motha fucker like me? Can you please remind me? have people fired up. Look it...nobody was more upset than yours truly when I saw my stock loose $20 per share in a single hour that day. But to say that dropping an album all about how much better the rap royals are than the rest of us is insensitive, seems a little like saying I have emotional scarring from the earth quake. A bit dramatic? Yes. Completely far-fetched? You betcha. Yes I understand there are still a lot of people out there who are just getting by...but I think aspirational music is important. Jay-Z doesn't glorify money, yachts, Louie boat shoes, big face rollies or his 5 passports. No friends, his message is simpler than that: work hard, achieve success, and then you too can be a nigga in Paris or St. Tropez or anywhere that isn't the craptastic place you live. I don't want to listen to a rap song about the average life because I live that life. I want to vicariously live the life of gold models, sold models (bitch behave just might let you meet 'Ye..)  So to the haters I say, that this type of music if anything, inspires while it entertains. We shoud not blame anyone else for our personal finances. If you are a mediocre member of society, you will continue to be one regardless of what Chi town & Hov do or don't do. Plus what else are they supposed to rap about? This is their actual lifestyle, they really do ball that hard.

I can sit here all day and tell you all the reasons why you should be listening to the album. But instead, I recommend you watch a mini-documentary (11 minutes...common peepos I know you got the time! Click on the link below) about the making of this masterpiece. The best part is seeing an up and coming KW in 2002 telling the camera to watch out because he is about to take music to the next level. Doctors say I am illest because I suffer from realness. And he did. They did. It aint safe in the city...watch the throne. That shit cray.

Watch the Throne documentary link

JAM OF THE WEEK: Niggas in Paris AND THE ENTIRE CD!

As always keep it ferocious and fabulous!

It's Britney Bitch!

 I heard my beloved Brit Brit was coming to Nassau Coliseum and I was thinking about going to see her in concert. I haven't seen Ms. Spears since way before I was legal, but unfortunately I couldn't fit it in to my schedule. So instead I thought I'd write about my faves pop artist, get in the zone, make some outrageous claims (so unthinkable a few of you might be mad) AND have some fun while we do it. So all my people in the crowd, grab a partner and take it down.

Oh Britney. You came into our lives like a hurricane, wearing a school girl uniform and confessing to us that your loneliness was killing you. You asked for a sign.  And boy did we give it to you. Those were the days of TRL and an explosion of pop like the music industry had not experienced in a very long time. Now into her third decade of making music (that is just unbelievable) Britney Spears is still on top and showing that a little "crazy" and a good producer talent can keep you on top. Take notes Madge because it's Britney Bitch.

 

When I saw the baby one more time video, I couldn't help but to think...Why haven't I thought to wear just my sports bra to school? Ohhh...that's right I don't have the abs for it  I am shy. Damn it! Britney was geniusly marketed as the pretty but accessible girl next door. If you remember it was a sports bra and sweat pants she wore in that video, along with the school girl uniform (her idea after rejecting a suggestion to do an "animated" video. GOOD CALL BRITTERS!!) Equal opportunity for young high school boys AND older skeevy men. She can get down just like the rest of you! Was she born to make us happy?

NOTHING bothers me more than artists being compared to Madonna. Let me take you back for hot minute...before I explain this statement. Remember the first ipod? I do. It skipped, got stuck, was a black and white screen, had limited space and if the battery died you were SOL. Remember the first tampon? I do. Non-discreet and made out of cardboard. Remember Lasik eye surgery when it first came out? You probably don't because if you had it, you probably had a heart attack at the thought of your cornea being sliced with a blade. Remember the first computer? DOS. Ew. Remember the first Zack Morris style mobile phone? The antenna alone was the length of 3 blackberries today. Nobody ever says well the original was better because it came out first. NOBODY. I am glad that my ipod is in color now and I can play any of the 7,000 songs I have. I am thankful to the sweet baby jesus someone thought of using plastic at playtex. I hated that disgusting slow compaq computer I was forced to be grateful for having. Dial-up aged me by like three years. My crackberry is my life and I wouldn't go back to that beast of a phone even if Zack came with it. So why is this concept different for Britney Spears when history tells us reinvention is the lifeline of music. Yes Madonna is, was, always will be an icon and YES she is amazeballs. But the music of today is sooo different than that at the peak in Madge's career. Our expectations are different, marketing and media play a bigger part and to make these comparisons seems a bit antiquated. So here it is: I am ready to finally say that Britney has surpassed Madonna and is in fact a better artist. OH NO SHE DIDN'T!!! Sure I did bitches. Will you hold it against me?

There's only 2 types of people in the world. The ones that entertain and the ones that observe. I guess we know which one Britney is, her worth is an estimated $155M... mucho dinero (this is also my favorite essie color right now) indeed. She took center stage during the revival of teen pop in the late 90's. She perfected her image while growing up on the mickey mouse club (awww isn't that precious, you totally know her and Justin were making out backstage!!) and in 1999 she released the monster of an album Baby One More Time. I remember how furious I was that Mother's Music in Patchogue had sold out of it. So I was forced to go to the Wiz. Before there was best buy, nobody beat the wiz! (Actually the wiz still exists...I know! I thought I went to a fugazy website at first...but it is legit: thewiz.com) I still know the words to every song on that CD because I played it endlessly!! Baby One More Time remains the ultimate pop song because 12 years later we still love the pleasing melody, the easy tone of britney's voice and more importantly it represents a specific place and time for each and every one of us. There is a great song on this album that never saw the light of radio: Soda Pop. I wouldn't say it is a reggae song, but it certainly has a fun reggae vibe that is just so different than the rest of the album and anything else Britters has done since. During the bridge she really stretches those vocal chords also something we don't normally hear from her. She is actually singing. Sayyy whats?!

Since 1999 my little bevos (new word alert!) has turned into a bonafide money making machine: 7 studio albums; she was the first female to have 6 of them debut at the #1 spot. (It earned her a spot in the guinnes book of world records) Lucrative endorsement deals with pepsi and candie's, 2 books, tours that generate millions in profits, a movie...(Common you know you watched it...and wondered why Dan Akroid would EVER agree to be in it! ANSWER: It made $47M!), a reality show (yo don't play that homie you know you watched that too!) fragrance deals, phone and ipad apps, 21 Top 40 hits, and the undisputable power to sell thru more magazines than brangelina. Nobody cares about adopted kids. Real talk. They care about bald and beautiful Britney beating the shit out of the paparazzi with an umbrella. I swear to god I contemplated the shaved head look when Britney did it. Then I remembered I didn't have a sick body to distract people with!

 Okay so my Brit Brit doesn't use music as a vehicle to express social issues, or any vehicle for that matter ala Madonna with Papa Don't Preach. She uses technology to enhance her tracks and creates her own brand of "Britbot", not a robot but a britney-esque robot! But just like beef jerky she is american made, (we love it even though sometimes it is kind of gross and leaves a bad taste in our mouths) and we are proud!!! At least she doesn't act like she is embarrassed to be an american by manufacturing some ridiculous fake half british accent (yea I am talking to you Madonna) and living in the english country side because you know America is just so lame. Brit put out one of her best albums at a time when her personal life was in shambles. Following her signature formula of club pop tracks laced with clever (all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to if you seek amy...common that's fuckin brilliant) catchy melodies as addicting as heroin, she delivered amazing music. She then released 2 more albums and showed Katy, Ke$ha and RiRi that this is her playground and she ALLOWS them go on the monkey bars. You want a piece of me?

 

We love Britney Spears because she gives us exactly what we want. Sorry peeps, I am a very socially conscious individual but I am not looking for a Sudan update when I hear a Britney song! I want to escape, I want to be distracted while I do heinous house chores (aughhhhhh always the damn dishes...) I want a sick beat to shake to while at a red light, out at a bar with friends, at the gym, while I am tanning (I love to dance in the stand-up booth! It's awesomeness!) Ms. American dream since she was 17 represents that place we go to when we want to zone out. Obviously for me I need music in this place. I can be lost in music endlessly for hours. And dancing to Britney music for days if I knew the old ball and chain wasn't gonna come home to ruin it. Do I pretend I am Britters circa 2000 in the oops I did it again video? Sure I do. Do I immitate her deathly precise dance moves? Sure I do, but I am better at the infamous MTV performance routine for Gimme More. The one where she looked completely drunk and uncoordinated? Yes that's the one. I add in my secret move: the running man and it makes for an epic way to use my kitchen floor! I just read in US weekly that Brit doesn't like to bathe for days, cuts the cheese, goes digging for gold (oh my god that Britney's shameless), demands only MJ be played in her dressing room and loves to eat junk food. BRITTERS we got more in common than you think girl... CALL ME!!! When was the last time you heard a Madonna song on the radio? AND Not from 2 decades ago? Exactly....Femme Fatale has surpassed every expectation I had and proves that Britney is still and will be for years to come a force to be reckoned with. Gimme gimme more Britney...

JAM OF THE WEEK: Soda Pop (Baby one more time), Shattered Glass (Circus)

As always keep it ferocious and fabulous!