What would Jesus do?!?

There are two kinds of people in the world. People who love Jesus and people who don't. If that's true, then do I not exist. I don't love the capital H.I.M. But I don't hate H.I.M. Does this make me a bad person? Religion to me is one of the most fascinating phenoms of the world. Kind of like people who question the appeal of the guidos at the shore, the macarena or jelly shoes, I question the concept of religion as a whole and struggle to understand its mesmerizing strong grip on millions around the world. I've been thinking about this topic for a very long time but hesitated because of various reasons: offending people who take the time to read this blog; friends of mine whom honestly believe I am a rotten human being because I don't exercise daily by walking with the lord; and finally; I really wanted to see how that whole May 21 "end of the days" shiz played out. You can never be too cautious! But I hope that you know dear reader, it is not my intention to be gratuitously offensive but rather to express my true and honest feelings. I don't have all the answers and what opinion I state in this forum is solely based on my experiences and reactions to them. So sit back, grab a latte (or some water with lemon if on a SERIOUS diet like moi) because we are kicking it for Christ in this post! JC in da house!!!!!

Sweet home Alabama lord I'm coming home to you...does your conscious bother you? Tell the truth. Okay Lynyrd, yes it bothers me slightly. Mostly because all I want to do is understand the how's and why's but nobody gots answers for me. They all come across as raving lunatics (that says something coming from this lunatic) so I have no choice but to judge them. My parents were catholic and I remember my momma used to say only Jesus can save us...well momma I know I act a fool but I'll be gone 'til november I got packs to move. My father always kept an old bible on his night stand. He read it quite often and went to church every sunday with a reluctant tween in tow. When I turned around 11 or 12 and started to realize the power of "oh dad I wish I could but I just have sooo much homework to do..." I absolutely milked that shiz! The only thing more important to my father than JC was education. It's funny but I don't ever recall my parents ever asking if I was interested in being a Catholic or going to church. I guess they just assumed I would do it because that's what we "catholics" do.  It is about tradition and ritual.  That's me in the corner, that's me in the spotlight... losing my religion. Trying to keep up with you, and I don't know if I can do it. My father was a model Catholic. If by model you mean he did the exact opposite of what Catholicism teaches. You shall love your neighbor as you love yourself: (he was heavily racist toward African Americans) which is quite amusing since the word catholic literally means 'all embracing/broad scope'; You shall not commit adultery: (he and my mother separated, he "dated" some other biotch, and now he is back with my mother. Annnnnd I am pretty sure I have a half brother somewhere in the tri-state area); You shall not take the name of the Lord in vain: (now you know where I get it from!); Fast and abstain on the days appointed: (we weren't known for skipping any meals especially those involving a cow.) Never been a sinner. I never sinned. I got a friend in Jesus. So you know that when I die, he's gonna set me up with the spirit in the sky.  

 

Did you write the book of love? And do you have faith in god above? If the bible tells you so...and do you believe in rock & roll ? Can music save your mortal soul?!  Well Don, I am glad you asked! I didn't write the book of love, I pass on the second question, I do 100% believe in rock and roll and I really do think music has saved me and my mortal soul in more ways than I can ever attempt to account for.  Religious people always say they feel God, they have faith in Jesus, they just know. Like that dude JUST knew May 21 was the end. Gonna listen to my 45's, ain't it wonderful to be alive when the rock & roll plays...The only thing I feel 100% in my bones is rock and roll. I don't have to have faith in it because music is tangible, and the proof is in the mp3 pudding (back in the days it was an LP pudding) I got as far as my communion, and had a justice of peace marry us in front of a few family and friends. Going to a church felt like it was someone else's wedding, not mine. As a youngin I felt trapped in a religion that was my father's. I recently heard someone say the term 'recovering catholic' and as soon as I heard it I could immediately relate. I am on the path to recovery. Well they showed you a statue and told you to pray. They built you a temple and locked you away. Ah but they never told you the price that you pay for things that you might have done.  Excuse me a moment I need to call Betty Ford.

 

My boo and I have known a very religious friend since high school. He was always the life of the party, the kid who made you laugh until you peed your pants. He could easily step in and do an SNL skit at 30 Rock on a saturday night. He is that funny. He is a Born Again Christian who takes capital H.I.M. high, low, he takes JC wherever he go. I have noticed that his humor and his personality have taken a back seat to his religion. Now I want to make clear this is my perception, and I don't spend every second of every day with him to prove that statement. Real talk is now in effect. I don't feel like we have as much in common as we used to (gym class) and find myself doing a Fat Joe when I am around him and his family.  I often censor myself when I first meet people, but I don't like having to do it with someone I've known since 1999. When the talk turns to church or god (and it often does) I lean back and do the rockaway because I want no part. I feel the judgement of not being part of the flock, and I am not sure what they find more disturbing: that I am a catholic, or that I am a catholic who isn't religious and questions God. Pleased to meet you. Hope you guess my name. But what's puzzling you? Is it the nature of my game?

The funny thing is that the conversations are always polite and are delivered with a smile, but I certainly have a whole other perception of what I think is really happening: they feel bad for me because I am a sinner. I can't be myself without beind judged...that seems rather unfair in a friendship no? I am not the one going to church every week vowing not to judge others. But what people of faith (at least the ones I've come across) don't really admit is: it's not okay to judge each other just those not like them. Like the horrendous gays, or the baby killers, or the servicemen and women of our military. It's open season when it comes to them. The truth is I am a sinner and I will forever rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints. We ain't too pretty we ain't too proud. We might be laughing a bit too loud... With them I never feel out of place. Is there a place for the hopeless sinner?! No Mr. Marley I guess there isn't. Going down, party time. My friends are gonna be there too. I am on the highway to hell.

I decided that perhaps I was feeling this way because I needed to be better 'informed'. I thought that perhaps learning more about evangelicals would lead to more understanding and less judgement of my dear friend (whom I truly do love) and his flock. Guess what actually ended up happening?! The exact opposite. FML!!!! Ooops sorry Jesus, I mean God, or is it Lord? I never know which one I am supposed to use. And why is it Hail Mary? Shouldn't you be Hailing Jesus or God or Christ or the Lord or Savior, Omnipotent one...

Please come back tomorrow for the conclusion of this post, and find out how my 'research' went. It's what Jesus would do!