Wow you made it back!!! I thank you for sticking it out!!! Let's dive right in shall we?
Sheer boredom and a desire to do nothing except lay in bed all day, led me to find a movie on instant netflix called 'Jesus Camp'. Oh cool, arts and crafts for the lord. The rating was actually pretty high and the description seemed good enough for me. As the title implies, it focuses on a few families who send their kids to a camp that teaches them about how to be the best evangelical they can be. Ironically the camp is located in Devil's Lake, North Dakota. No really that's what the town is called. This is going to be amazeballs I thought! A few of the highlights were a girl who loves to dance, but sometimes she admits, she dances "for the flesh" and obviously that is not cool, because everything must be for god. A 10 year old, who proudly tells the camera he was saved at the age of 5 because he realized there was more to life. Another ferocious little girl expressed her dream of being a nail technician, because what a better way to spread the word of the lord than with a kick-ass air brushing. She was nine. The most mesmerizing (and I will admit a little difficult) part of the documentary was seeing all these little youngins in some cases barely out of the toddler stage, speak in tongues and bawling their eyes out asking J for forgiveness. But in my appalled reaction I also found confusion, what could they have possibly done at the age of 6 that they needed to ask God to forgive them? Did they throw the play doh against the wall and leave it there? Did they steal a cookie from the jar? Did they pee in their jammies by accident? Did they draw all over themselves with a marker? Kiddies, kiddies...I just did 3 out of 4 of those things this week!! Relax. Be cool.
Lastly, the juxtaposition of these really cute and in most cases smarter than average little peeps, against their very violent message was incredibly eye opening. Pastor Becky is very clear about the importance of indoctrinating these children when they are young. "I want to see young people who are as committed to the cause of Jesus Christ as the young people are to the cause of Islam. I want to see them as radically laying down their lives for the gospel as they are over in Pakistan and Israel and Palestine and all those different places..." I will let you ponder that statement on your own (if you are like me you probably thought WHAT THE FRENCH TOAST!?!?) Children are revered for their pureness and innocence, so it seems a bit absurd to have them identifying themselves in such a violent way; as warriors, soldiers and part of the evangelical army fighting God's war. By the way I thought God was against war? At least they have christian wrestling, 10 commandment mini golf and church drive thrus, so their young years won't totally be devoid of any fun. Would you like a Jesus toy or a Mary toy? Do you have shrek?! Oh no?! Okay then Jesus it is.
The documentary briefly showcased an up and coming evangelical star named Ted Haggard. At the end you come to find out he was involved in a national scandal (you may remember he was everywhere for awhile) and a follow up documentary has been made. Of course I watched that also. Operation being lazy for the lord was in FULL EFFECT! Despite the fact that Ted Haggard said some outrageous things which have no basis other than 'that's what the bible says', I found him to be quite compelling, even likeable. The only boy who could ever reach me was
'The trials of Ted Haggard' was a chilling look at a man who is so deeply ashamed of who he is, that after all he has been through he would rather continue the lie than admit the very same thing he preached against. His congregation spews unity, community and solidarity but when one of their own was suffering they turned their back. What would Jesus do?!? Would he have taken his house, his salary, his dignity and left him abandoned and alone with no way to support his wife and children? I don't know the big J like that but something tells me he wouldn't do what was done to Ted. I also don't think he would have a corporate operation posing as a church; meaning he wouldn't hire people like Ted and make them sign contracts that even the ruthless Ari Gold would find henious. This is one of my biggest beefs with religion. I truly think there are wonderful takeaways from a lot of the teachings of many religions. But the shortcomings of our humanity, ruin them. We are greedy, power hungry, jealous and fundamentally flawed, all of which make it difficult to adhere to the parameters of religion. Exhibit A: Lucifer which I have been informed started out on God's team. Exhibit B: Judas (is the demon I cling to!) As a result of free will, most of us can't be OF god because the truth of the matter is we all want to BE gods (god-like), at least in our own stories. Probably where the phrase "god complex" emerged from. In my opinion most of us are being set-up to fail (I am just a holy fool, oh baby it's so cruel!), but you will still take 10% of my paycheck. Thank you come again. This is a generalization on a bigger scale, as in all fairness, I do realize there are people in the world who truly are very successful and prosper with their religious beliefs. Good for them. I believe we call them saints.
So where do I stand? Am I an atheist? Absolutely not. I am actually a very spiritual person, but I refuse to play into these ridiculous labels which I define as religions. I am not devoted to terms or objects such as a cross to know that there is something bigger than me, than all of us, in my soul. What if God was one of us? Just a stranger, one of us, trying to make his way home. I don't feel the uncontrollable urge to define that something which most of us refer to as God. Something so undefined, that it can only be seen by the eyes of the blind. I don't attend church to pray. I carry spirituality with me everyday, and if I feel the need to pray, I take 5 and I ask the universe for what I want. The after life is something that doesn't keep me up at night. The only thing I think about is not having the man I love so much with me. But you will be with God and that's all you need...I will never love any god more than I love that man. When you call my name it's like a little prayer...let the choir sing! But otherwise I am not interested in securing a direct flight to "heaven". Most people think great god will come from the skies...take away everything and make everybody feel high. But if you know what life is worth, you would look for yours on earth... One of the greatest songs ever written which perfectly conveys my sentiment: I don't want to live a life where I don't get to enjoy the present. I have not the slightest clue about the after life, heaven, hell, where we go, what happens and what outfits we get to wear. I am sick and tired of all these people saying that they know what goes on after we die. Preacher man don't tell me...I know you don't know what life is really worth. You can fool some people sometimes, but you can't fool all the people all the time. I know that I want to live a life here where I am kind to others. A life in which I love and cherish all my family and friends unconditionally. A life where I do what feels right in my soul because I want to not because my religion tells me to. One in which gay people have the same rights we do, where there isn't anti-semitism. Where muslims don't kill innocent people for Allah. Where we don't persecute doctors for doing abortions. Where everyone can say "oh you're a (insert religious affiliation here), that's cool." Not the tried and true 'oh my religion is better than yours'. A life where we just live in the present without worry about what may or may not happen in the after life. Open your eyes look, touch and feel. Rule with your heart, live with your conscience. Love, love love, love and be free we're all God's people. Thank you Freddie.
What would Jesus do if our paths ever crossed? Would he reject me and tell me that because I chose to march to the beat of my own drum I couldn't chill with him and his crew? Would he disapprove of my obsessive love of songs like Sympathy for the Devil & LG's new masterpiece Bloody Mary (YOU MUST DOWNLOAD! It's so fresh and like nothing I've ever heard before and you know I love my jams!)? Would he say that I ruined his rep when I wrote this post? Would he be disappointed in me for counting on everything except a rosary? I think he will say "I always knew you were spunky and you liked your oatmeal lumpy. That's okay MC. Do your thing girl..." And then music would play and "I'd dance dance dance with my hands hands hands above my head like Jesus said..."
As always keep it ferocious and fabulous!
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