I am a maniac. I am rabid. I haven't slept.
No I am not a on a diet. I am consumed. Obsessed. It is all I think about. I am counting every second. every minute. every day. When will it be here? I have had the Dixie Cups stuck in my head for weeks. My adoration is at DEF-CON 5 and I am not sure if I will make it to the end...I might burst with sheer euphoria. No I am not having a child. BITCH PLEASE! Focus! I have spent countless hours scouring google for any shred of information I might have somehow missed until now. I downloaded the APP on the ipad and I am ready to go.
BRING IT!!!
No I am not a on a diet. I am consumed. Obsessed. It is all I think about. I am counting every second. every minute. every day. When will it be here? I have had the Dixie Cups stuck in my head for weeks. My adoration is at DEF-CON 5 and I am not sure if I will make it to the end...I might burst with sheer euphoria. No I am not having a child. BITCH PLEASE! Focus! I have spent countless hours scouring google for any shred of information I might have somehow missed until now. I downloaded the APP on the ipad and I am ready to go.
BRING IT!!!
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| I guess my invite got lost in the mail... |
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| The most beautiful people on earth...SUCK IT JLO! |
I have been waiting for this day for soooo long!! I grew up listening to adults talk about the people's princess' wedding in 1981 and I could never actively participate. Now I get to be a part of what every girl dreams of (and some boys...let's be fair now). 2 BILLION people and I will watch, laugh, cry, wish and hope along with the most captivating royals since Princess Fiona Diana. So what about this extravaganza is it that resonates so strongly with us? What is it about royals that makes us Americans weak in the knees? Oh William, I hear you call my name and it feels like home. A man is 100% more attractive with an accent (yes even YOU Geoffrey Rush!) I have no choice I hear your voice feels like flying....He is handsome, educated, a military man, (YUMM! DOUBLE scoop of hells yesss!) Would he be just as attractive without the title? Probably but as a nation we want what we can't have! I want candy!!! AKA a monarch! It makes me question why we ever thought gaining independence from the Brits was a good idea? William also has that distinct humbleness that made so many adore his mother and a certain lady friend noticed.
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| I need to practice climbing the social ladder so I can get to Billy Boy |
Katherine Middleton. But don't be fooled by the rocks that shes gots. She is just Katie from the block. She used to have a little but now is about to have a WHOLE lot. Kate is bringing sexy back. Demure and classy sexy that is. FINALLY!!! There is nothing about this gal I don't
love!! I find her to be captivating without being overly arrogant or self-promoting. In the lifetime movie 'William & Kate' (YES OF COURSE I WATCHED IT!! 3.9 STARS!) she is portrayed much more forcefully than how she comes across in real life. Sure she's been photographed a few times with the lady parts showing...hey it happens! No judgement from me dear friends as my lady parts have been known to have a mind of their own! She's Miss Independent that's why he loves her...cause she walk like the boss, she talk like the boss...she's fly effortlessly. Kate will set the standard for the modern royal keeping it classy but ridding the monarchy of archaic ways. It has been confirmed that she has removed the "obey" part from the wedding vows. That's my bitch! Go on with yo' bad self! Kate gives hope to all the regular gals out there. If you wear a bathing suit during a fashion show...you too can score a prince! Speaking of wearing...I am just foaming at the mouth waiting to know what she is going to strut her shiz in!!!!
Kate and the perfect man specimen make magic happen when they are together. Not since a certain Boston dude and a Bronx girl with little in the middle and much back have I felt such a strong adoration for a couple. I really loved those two. Too bad... memories..sighs...But WiKa spent years back and forth (just like a regular relationship) deciding if the other was truly the one. Actually Kate let's get real, you knew the day you said 'Your highness what an honor!' I picture William going from one grandiose room into another in the castle singing 'There's a girl I know...she's the one I dream of...How will I know if she really loves me? I say a prayer with every heart beat...I tried the phone but I am too shy can't speak' ADORBS and the staff dances with him...LIFETIME why the BLEEP was that NOT in your movie?! Unlike the Diana sitch, these two really seem to love each other. I don't know how you can ACTUALLY tell but I think you can. When 2 people are meant to be you just feel it. I feel it in my bone marrow...real deep peeps! If Diana was still around she probably do her own castle dancing 'Young hearts run free! Never be hung up like my man and me...young hearts to your self be true...'
love!! I find her to be captivating without being overly arrogant or self-promoting. In the lifetime movie 'William & Kate' (YES OF COURSE I WATCHED IT!! 3.9 STARS!) she is portrayed much more forcefully than how she comes across in real life. Sure she's been photographed a few times with the lady parts showing...hey it happens! No judgement from me dear friends as my lady parts have been known to have a mind of their own! She's Miss Independent that's why he loves her...cause she walk like the boss, she talk like the boss...she's fly effortlessly. Kate will set the standard for the modern royal keeping it classy but ridding the monarchy of archaic ways. It has been confirmed that she has removed the "obey" part from the wedding vows. That's my bitch! Go on with yo' bad self! Kate gives hope to all the regular gals out there. If you wear a bathing suit during a fashion show...you too can score a prince! Speaking of wearing...I am just foaming at the mouth waiting to know what she is going to strut her shiz in!!!!
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| I am here BITCHESSSSSSSSSSSS!!! |
Kate and the perfect man specimen make magic happen when they are together. Not since a certain Boston dude and a Bronx girl with little in the middle and much back have I felt such a strong adoration for a couple. I really loved those two. Too bad... memories..sighs...But WiKa spent years back and forth (just like a regular relationship) deciding if the other was truly the one. Actually Kate let's get real, you knew the day you said 'Your highness what an honor!' I picture William going from one grandiose room into another in the castle singing 'There's a girl I know...she's the one I dream of...How will I know if she really loves me? I say a prayer with every heart beat...I tried the phone but I am too shy can't speak' ADORBS and the staff dances with him...LIFETIME why the BLEEP was that NOT in your movie?! Unlike the Diana sitch, these two really seem to love each other. I don't know how you can ACTUALLY tell but I think you can. When 2 people are meant to be you just feel it. I feel it in my bone marrow...real deep peeps! If Diana was still around she probably do her own castle dancing 'Young hearts run free! Never be hung up like my man and me...young hearts to your self be true...'
So as the big day approaches, and all the final details come together, I just can't wait to witness a piece of history. In true British style everything will be prim and proper, lacking any excitement via facial expressions or hand motions and all will be perfectly executed. The world and myself will be overcome with awe and jubilation over a cup of tea (maybe spiked with a little belvedere...american style bitches) as we watch the wedding of the century. I am so thankful that globalization will make it possible for me to sit in front of my television and hear every detail from the ceremony to Kate's speech at the reception 'So here is to the future cause we got thru the past. I finally found somebody that could make me laugh. You so crazy...I think I wanna have your baby!!!' ROYAL BABIES!!!!!!!!! I guarantee you (loyal reader) a bitching post the moment that happens!
But before the bambinos come, this beautiful couple is going to enjoy their time together traveling, doing charitable work and you know just generally being super fuckin gorgeous! In the mean time we still have Harry & Chelsea. I think a summer wedding would do just fine. Maybe next year before December 2012...just in case the Mayans are right and the world does end....
As always keep it ferocious and fabulous.
But before the bambinos come, this beautiful couple is going to enjoy their time together traveling, doing charitable work and you know just generally being super fuckin gorgeous! In the mean time we still have Harry & Chelsea. I think a summer wedding would do just fine. Maybe next year before December 2012...just in case the Mayans are right and the world does end....
As always keep it ferocious and fabulous.
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