Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?

This week's post was inspired by a conversation I had with a very dear friend. Now I have to keep it 100 so I am gonna tell you the first time he brought it up I kind of dismissed it as his usual antics. Not only is he easy on the eyes but he likes to mess with your mind like inception. Over a delicious breakfast weeks later it came up again. This time it was clear that he was absolutely serious. He was discussing The Illuminati and their tight grip on our society. REALLY?! Yes fo realsies peeps. I couldn't help but hear the better half of GB in my ear...'I remember when I lost my mind...I was out of touch but it wasn't because I didn't know enough. I just knew too much...' I was at first surprised and mildly interested because 1) he is a highly intelligent person whose opinion I very much respect and 2) because he stores a lot of knowledge and facts in that perfectly gelled head of his. So I listened but I am not sure how we ended up at this place where I contemplated if he was REALLY the friend I've known and loved for over a decade. Was he? I was shocked later when the website he was getting some of his information from was very much a religious one. Usually he is the only one who shares my repugnancy towards religion...hmm

'Does that make him crazy...? Probably..' And the knowledge pouring out of him came out such at such a fast pace my unprepared brain was more concerned with eating the 2 over easy eggs and hash browns I had in front of me before they got cold. So let's dive in and talk about some of these things. But first things first: what/who exactly are The Illuminati?! Apparently my knowledge from Tupac's album was not going to cut it. If you google it this appears: People claiming to possess special enlightenment or knowledge of something. The next definition says: A sect of 16th-century Spanish heretics who claimed special religious enlightenment. Then another reads: A Bavarian secret society founded in 1776, organized like the Freemasons. Oh okay now that THAT'S cleared up we can move on. Some of the groups and individuals said to be involved are from past history, some modern, some real and some fictitious. OH GOOD. That was going to be my next question. Glad that very important distinction was made: could be real, could be fake whatevs! Their purpose: to control everything from the mayo we use on our turkey sandwiches to world affairs and eventually our minds through the use of corporations, mass media, celebrities and music yielding the end result of a new world order. I stopped for a moment here and pondered the hidden messages in the music I listen to... Ice Cube telling me 'I can do it as long as I put my ass into it... ' or '1, 2 3 and to the 4 Snoop Doggy Dog and Dr. Dre is at the door. Compton and Long Beach together now you know you in trouble' Or Juvi's compliment: 'U's a fine motha fucker won't cha back that ass up' or Lil Jon advising 'to the window to the wall...stop then wiggle with it!' Get low hoodrats because The Illuminati is coming for your fat juicy asses and they got Warren G to regulate!

Okay but seriously (HA! riiiight when is this blog shiz ever serious...sorry but if you want serious you aint gonna find it here) we have all heard our share of conspiracy theories: Did men really walk on the moon? Does area 51 exist & are there aliens on earth? Was the US government behind 9/11? Who really killed JFK? Does the lochness monster exist? Is Will Smith with the MIB (the galaxy defenders...the one that you remember)?Is Ryan Seacrest's hair real?...too many questions but not enough answers...The bigger question (at least to me) is how does having this 'knowledge' or being aware of things like conspiracy theories actually affect our everyday lives if at all? I love my life. Sure I could certainly be richer and thinner (couldn't we all) but for the most part I am enjoying this ride. 'And I hope that you are having the time of your life...But think twice that's my only advice...' I still do what I want don't I?! If I don't want mayo on my friggin turkey I say NO MAYO!...'Ha ha ha bless your soul...you really think you're in control?' I felt my appetite diminish...but only for a few seconds thank god. Then I was back! What was going on here?! Is he really saying I don't have any control of my life? That none of us do? Is my beloved lady gaga brain washing our minds...really?!  Even HOV?! Yes even him. The mass media uses occult symbolism in everything to condition our way of thinking, he tells me. Wait so is it like the matrix?! Maybe. But why wouldn't I make myself super hot if I created my own fake world? You don't create the matrix they do. Fuck! I have to re-watch that movie...

After what seemed like a long conversation, while my husband paid the bill we walked outside to intoxicating spring weather FINALLY! I felt a huge wave of satisfaction wash over me and I pulled him aside and said "I get what you are saying but sometimes just feeling the sun shine on me is all I need to know and feel that I am alive and an active participant in my life and I don't give a shit about The Illuminati" Maybe sometimes ignorance is bliss. Maybe there is nothing to be ignorant about. Maybe Dennis Rodman is an alien controlling our minds and using The Illuminati to distract us. Maybe Gary Busey is my real father. Maybe Elvis is working at the commack deli. Maybe MJ really was white and Billie Jean really is his love. Maybe Georgie Dubbya is actually a rocket scientist. Maybe just maybe AC Slater isn't really gay. Maybe Narnia exists. Maybe there really are vampires. Maybe the Knicks are good (okay that's REALLY a stretch) Maybe the beibs is really a girl. Maybe the Juice is innocent (TOO FAR!!)...maybe I could actually be living my life instead of wondering about so many things I really have no control over....like Ryan Seacrest's hair...but how does he get it so perfect all the time?!?!

I don't judge my friend, even though I absolutely want to (just keepin it reals) But he and I have had many a discussion of how preaching turns us off specially from our 'religious' friends. Just because the topic isn't religious per se doesn't mean I didn't feel like I was being preached to.  I won't think less of him, never!!! He stuck by me and helped me through when I felt the most alone while my husband faught a war. I don't take things like that lightly. I love him and I think he is a great man. I just worry. I want him to enjoy the best years of his life because before we know it, one of us will helping the other one go to the bathroom! EW..... 'We're  never gonna survive unless we get little crazy...' Seal... so ahead of his time. It's time we start worrying less about who might be running the show and when this place might blow. Because no matter how much we worry and search for answers we may never get them. Life is not like a box of chocolates. It is rather like one of the greatest songs ever written: Bohemian Rhapsody. What do the fuck does it all mean? 'Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Scaramouche will you do the fandango? Galileo Magnifico!' WTF indeed! But just because we don't exactly know its meaning or purpose doesn't mean we can't enjoy it.

So today I say to you go insane go insane throw some glitter and make it rain. It's perfectly acceptable to try to search for answers and try crawling out of the cave Plato told us about but don't forget to live your life while you do it.

To my friend I say... "I think you're crazy....I think you are crazy....just like me..." I love you always.

 Paternity test is in: Gary Busey is not my father even though we seem to display similar traits of incoherent rants and ridicolous displays of random behavior.

As always keep it ferocious and fabulous.