Born this way

I have always felt an inexplicable connection to music. I am guessing it started in my younger years when I would spend vast amounts of time recording songs off the radio. Remember those days? No internet, super strict father whom I dubbed Castro (no actually meant no), and a half functioning super nintendo which if I didn’t blow into the games for at least an hour refused to work.  What’s a girl to do? Make bitching tapes that’s what!! And by tapes I am talking cassette tapes…ribbons and all! SAYYYYY WHHHHHATTT!! OMG that is like sooo retro. Oh yea like the Staple Singers I am going to take you there! A place where ain’t nobody crying…ain’t nobody worried…The trick to the tapes was having quick enough reflexes to press pause (not the stop button…for a smoother transition) before KT Mills came on and started talking. For my non-LI peeps she has been the night DJ on 97.5 WALK FM for 19 years! What a fete! I still love listening to her even though WALK is no longer a lite station. Anyway I have digressed.

I spent countless hours making the best tape I had ever made night after night.  I learned about Stevie Nicks and I remember going to the library (holy shit that’s really RETRO!) to find a book and see what she looked like. I practiced Bill Wither’s “I know” repetition for hours until I finally got the timing perfectly. {Random fact: when he recorded the song they hadn’t written that verse hence the ‘I know’s’ which he put in as place-holders. But it sounded so good they left it. Good call.} I gasped furiously when I listened to Meatloaf’s “2 out of 3…” and realized he was the one who got his heart broken! THAT BITCH!  My hairbrush could never escape my “chain of fools” rendition or any Mariah or Whitney for that matter.

Long Island RULES!

I remember the first time I heard Billy Joel. And like most of the other songs I heard on the radio especially by the big hitters it made me wish I knew them. There have been many studies done on music and our ability to be born more musically inclined than others. I never thought I was going to be a musician, that became crystal clear when I sucked-ass dabbled and failed at both the piano AND the clarinet. But as I matured I started to realize how much music really meant to me. A big chunk of that probably has to do with not having much family so they in turn became my relatives and their songs my life lessons.  I found it exhilarating to search for a song every time I needed some advice and I realized there was always something amazing to find that led me to something else and so on. Don’t feel bad for me, because I am gonna go listen to my 45’s... ain’t it wonderful to be alive…when the rock & roll plays…I am keeping the faith…

One day, I went to a yard sale (good times) across the street of a friend’s house and I found a Beatles tape. It was a dollar and I was a bratty 9 year-old with no money.  That was mad moneys back in the day.  How good could it be anyway if it was only a dollar? SUCKERS...they think they can fool me! The man sitting behind the table looked at me and said “Do you know who they are?” I could sense his indignation the moment he opened his mouth. His disdain for the stupidity of the uneducated youth...AKA me. I didn’t know in that moment I would be that salty man a decade later. HA. So I did what I would have done today: I faked it till I made it. He knew of course. But pretended to go along with it. He decided to give me the tape for free and before releasing it into my hands he said in a hushed low voice (as if I was Froto and he had just given me the ring)...“this will change your life.” And that it did.

The artists of today can’t change lives the way the Beatles once changed mine and countless others. No offense Ke-Dollar-sign-HA. I think you and your glitter are great for a fun car ride, but you don’t touch me the way Stevie Wonder or Dylan did.  You will be blowing in the wind, before you know it.  And when the rain comes I will think of Princess Ri Ri, but when the water runs dry…I will pop in the album ‘II’…and think about how young gimmicky artists are everywhere but not like Fleetwood Mac once was.

So after all that you may be surprised to find that I am 100% head over heels enthralled with (ENTER SYMPHONY #5 for extra dramatic effect…) Lady Gaga. She comes as she is, as she was, and as how we want her to be. I have always been a huge weirdo. My entire life I had to leverage when it was okay for me to act myself vs “acting normal”. Anyone who knows me, is aware of how severely allergic I am to conformity. I always have and I always will be.  Lady Gaga merged the two things I long most for in this life weirdness and music.  What haters call ‘antics’ I simply call business as usual.

So it's been a long time...shouldn't have left me without a dope beat to step to. Step to. (PRICKY PRICKY BABY GIRL!)

Enter Lady Gaga. She was the change in music I had been waiting for. Just when I thought we were destined to the remnants of whatever talent was left over from the jloration (DALE!, Mr. Worldwide, Red One, Dark Child, So so def, Sean da paul. Shady after math...G-UNIT, Murder Inc, Konvict, Rockafella, Bad Boy...stop repping your name on my damn music!! )....along she came and redefined what being a monster means. Listen Brit you are still my bitch (fo LIFE!) but Gaga has something that you don't my babes....an astounding voice and music that is meaningful beyond the clubs...but still hot like MEJICO! Watch out I've seen her type before she's so dangerous...Akon knew it and now we know it. Thank you Konvict you did good. That'll do.

REALLY?!!!

For the peeps who see Lady G's 'persona' as an antic taken a bit too far: I completely disagree. You either get it or you don't. If you like to be a follower and conform to everything society or the bible says you are going to say 'oh she's weird'. The same idiotic way people dismissed the Beatles and Elvis as 'devil's music' I'd love to hear someone say that today. Exactly. We are conditioned to reject what we don't understand and that often includes aspects of our own personality we are afraid others will judge.

 As I grew older I finally began to appreciate the qualities that make me different and not 'normal'. I loved the no pants phase (as I am fiercely anti-pants) the carpaccio, the egg and everything to come. Who says she is offending anyone? Puhhhhlease catholic church. If I were you I'd sit this one out.  Judas and who is in love with him is the least of your problems.
If people are soooooo offended by Gagaloo and her music then don't listen. I find Fox news highly irritating. So I watch something else. We need to learn to accept people as they are and stop trying to make them fit into neat little boxes to eventually wrap and put a bow on. Our own unedited selves will always be sicker than the remix.

My deep connection to music is hard to explain at least for the purposes of this post. One of the things I relish is experiencing music first hand:concerts. After years of trying and being stood up by losers on craig's list, I AM FINALLY going to see Gaga this saturday live in the flesh. I am hoping to wear whatever makes me feel most like myself. Some kind of mask will be in order because that is how I roll bitches.

 

I appreciate Gaga for reinforcing the notion that we should be who we are proudly. No matter how weird, eccentric or even understated that 'us' may be. Sometimes people like me just want to dance (where are my keys? I lost my phone!) And have some fun when the beat is sick and possibly take a ride on your disco stick whateves bitches I love game. I am not bluffin with my muffin I promise I am your biggest fan, baby there is no other super star and I know you ain't just doing it to be a fame monster. I don't want to be caught in a bad romance between you and my alejandro because after all I am his wife....that boy is a monster indeed. Ra ra ah ah rama rama ma ga ga ohh la la...

Fly the freak flag bitches because we were born this way.

As always keep it ferocious and fabulous!