She said I am the one...

Really this DUDE?!?!?

 She certainly wasn't a beauty queen from a movie scene. But that didn't stop the terminator from governating in someone else's lady wonder land. Other than his wife's. Or mistress', or goumada's, or main bitch...whatevs they are all just chicks anyway right Arnold?! "She says I am the one, but the kid is not my son..." he desperately says to Maria who is already crying those overly-dramatic Kennedy tears. Bitch please! Is anyone really surprised by any of this?! Arnold has been dancing on the floor in the round FOR YEARS. I guess it is hard to have respect for someone who always showed such little respect for women and also the art of acting ("I am the party pooper") EW. People told him be careful what you do...don't go around breaking young girls' hearts...but he just couldn't resist. Like a lot of men in our society today (not necessarily in power or famous) they commit adultery as often as they drop a deuce. It's 'just like part of our anatomy' they say. I says bullshit. They make a conscious decision to have whatever they want when they want it without regard for their spouses or girlfriends. Didn’t their mothers tell them be careful who you love and be careful what you do. Remember to always think twice. DO THINK TWICE.

 

I don't understand adultery. I imagine it happens like the beginning of one of MJ's treasures featured in this post. When I hear Billie Jean...an unstoppable chemical reaction takes over my body. As the beat drops I stop speaking and I just react. It happens slowly...first I am like OH yea with a head nod. Then slowly my hips begin to move. The shoulders, the always ill-timed MJ tossing dollars move comes in to play at about 20 seconds after my first CHIKAH! I love the high notes in the background...HEEEEE… HEEEE... And by the chorus I've already grabbed my crotch 3 times, attempted and failed miserably at the moon walk rocking like I got ants in mah pants. I just can't help myself. Is that how cheating is for men? Does it sort of just sneak up on them and their bodies take over their better judgment? She came and stood right by me then the smell of sweet perfume. This happened much too soon she called me to her room…Maybe the first time, but what about the other times?

I am going to getcha...

I'd love to go all Chris Hansen on men caught red-handed cheating and just simply ask...why? Elliot, Tiger, Bill, JFK, Jesse, Jude (also a fan of the nanny), Tony, Ryan,Hugh, Charlie…For forty days and forty nights the law was on her side but who can stand when she's in demand Is it the power? Is it the entitlement? Is it just about the sex? More sex? New sex? Different sex?  Many studies say it goes beyond sex. Is it the monotony of a life devoid of risk? Why not just get a divorce? Is it truly a physiological need? IT'S NOT A TUMOR! I'd like to make clear that I have absolutely no qualms against being a male slut. If chlamydia is what you are down for more power to ya! There are women stupid enough to have sex with you anyway. Suit yourself. What I don't understand is why these men get married in the first place. If you know you can't be trusted around a bush, then why marry one?! Be careful what you do cause the lie becomes the truth... Enough with the true lies!

But I thought I WAS YOUR MAIN BITCH?!?!

It is not a secret that men have been cheating since 1BC does not mean Before Christ. Some men say very openly and confidently that they NEED to cheat. Yea you read that right. They take care of their needs outside of the home so they can focus on their wife and children and be the best husband they can be. REALLY?! Wow aint that some shiz! You know what a good husband does? He doesn't cheat! And he also takes out the garbage. Then there's the 'we are not wired to be monogamous'. That is right! I am so glad you brought that up because we are not robots. As humans we make a conscious choice to be monogamous. Just like we control our urge to slap stupid people, rob banks just to go on a shopping spree, and say racist things even though we really think they are true. It is an art. A skill. A little somethin somethin known as self-control. I truly think there are some people who are worth putting in the effort. But I guess men are too busy being fuck tards to notice. And finally my favorite reason why 'allegedly' men cheat is that their wife drove them to it. Oh really?! Are you sure you weren't already a scum bag and a fight with your wife/or gfriend solidified your resolve and gave you the courage to do something you have been always down for? Uh huh that's what I thought...throw a dance on the floor in the round...

I have a theory that men cheat because they can and it is really THAT simple. I mean it is men we're talking about here. (Sorry peens that's real talk). They go somewhere, do their bidness, take a shower and they're done. The evidence is easily discarded. Just like a child who gets away with his first lie, men continue to go a little further each time until eventually they are so drunk with power they become invincible. Greek tragedy anyone?! Enter Arnold who like so many before him and probably after, shit where he eats, and he WILL BE BACK!! I mean what kind of balls do you have to have to keep something like that going for 20 years!!! Huge steel ones I imagine...I am slightly jealous. And all the coordination?! I mean guys let's be real for a hot minute, you can't multi-task but you can manage multiple bitches for over 20 years?! REALLY?!?! Did Maria know?! Of course she did!!! She told my baby we'd danced 'till three...Then she looked at me then showed a photo of a baby crying his eyes looked like mine... And this is the final part of my theory. Men do it because they know certain women (whether they admit it to themselves or not) will put up with just about any old fuckery to maintain what society tells us is the natural order of things. Marriage, white picket fence, kids, we basically force people to fake it till they make it. You don't even have to be married. I have met so many people in relationships defined as "better than being alone"... Men use this and go straight to the bank! Go on dance on the floor in the round, baby

I know what the hombres are thinking as they read this post. WTF women cheat too!! Yes they do but this post is about men as they are the primary offenders. Plus I will ALWAYS be loyal to mah bitches, don't get it twisted! So peens listen up, you want to know what takes real balls?! It takes balls to admit that thru no fault of either party the relationship is ending and you want to go your separate ways. It takes cajones to say I have self-control and enough respect for you to tell you that I no longer love you and want to have sexy time with someone else. It takes real fuckin balls to be a decent human being and tell the truth no matter how hard, how awkward, or what the consequences.

 

I feel badly for that roid spawn. It is bad enough when one parent cheats but to be the product of two adulterer parents must be difficult. He will undoubtedly one day cheat on a woman and continue the cycle. But until that day comes...let's hope nobody ever asks this poor child "who is your daddy and what does he do?!" Hasta la vista to his family pride and dignity.

As always keep it ferocious and fabulous!

**In honor of MJ all posts for the next month will feature his amazing music!