The Ex- Files

As the new year gets under way the usual after-holidays break-ups begin to emerge.  First it starts with the weird facebook posts, slowly pictures go missing from photo albums and then the ultimate coming out to the world as your new and improved single self:

That's right you all know it... the moment your newsfeed is no longer the mundane minutia of "going to the gym" or "just had the best sandwich ever" and becomes a little more exciting and intriguing.  At this point one becomes thankful for facebook otherwise you wouldn't know a damn thing.  Or at least that's how I feel.  But as someone who never had an "ex" (I know totally lame! unless you count Adam who I dated for two ENTIRE periods in 10th grade, and Peter who I dated for about 3 days in 11th grade) I am in the dark when it comes to the treatment of an ex.

I know it's hard to believe but I've never had the satisfaction of stalking someone (while listening to Everything But The Girl) to see if the new bitch is better or worse than me...or cathartically thrown a drink in a jerk's face.  I have come across many jerks in my time, unfortunately none warranted a drink thrown at them.  I've never listened to Alanis' You oughta know while throwing clothes out my apartment window...such a shame...those dramatic antics would suit me well...

PB was right, love IS a battlefield and if it's rough during...it's ruthless after it is all over and an ex can be difficult and tricky to deal with.  Well someone else's ex that is...this post was inspired as recent relationships of some friends and family have ended and I am clueless as to how to handle the exes.  Before facebook took over my life, it was nearly impossible to run into the exes randomly, and in some cases I was lucky to remain friends with some of them. There were no issues back in the day but now...Do we stay friends on facebook? What if I un-friend them and then they get back together? Is it okay to friend the new girlfriend or boyfriend? How long should I wait before I do that?...so many questions and so much uncertainty when it comes to the answers...

I guess I could do nothing and just see what happens but I wouldn't say patience is my virtue per se. These ex files may be open for awhile and some may never be closed.  There will be a new crop of future exes before I finish typing this post anyway so I wonder if it really matters...

I dedicate this post to a special "ex" whom had I not stayed in touch with, I might have never discovered that she is my female soul mate; she understands me better than most and whose friendship I value and cherish.  She was the ex of a friend that I don't even talk to anymore.  She is infuriatingly intelligent, beautiful and the epitome of a true classy gal.  I love her and am so thankful I didn't un-friend her from my life.  Not that I could have even if I tried...